If you feel disconnected with your partner or your needs for intimacy aren’t being met, then you need couples therapy.
Also, if you feel resentful or regularly misunderstood, therapy can help. If your partner is cheating and you want to save the relationship, you should seek couples therapy.
So, when is the right time to seek couples therapy near me?
Most issues start small and then grow when they get resolved. As long as the partner is willing to give it a try, a therapist will help you get on the same page.
The process can help you support each other and in the process, heal the relationship. Just like going to the gym, if you don’t work on toning the muscles, you could create more damage. That being said, you should seek therapy long before you think you need to.
It’s important you appreciate the fact that there are many programs in social work, psychology, and counseling that can be used in couples’ therapist.
Licensed marriage therapists should have the right credentials and a master’s/ doctorate degree in family therapy. Besides that, he should have 2-3 years’ experience working with couples.
A competent couple’s therapist should help couples process emotions and achieve their personal goals. What’s more, he should ensure couples overcome their differences.
If a therapist takes sides, that’s a red flag – he should not be biased. Instead, he should help you find solutions by identifying what is making your marriage rocky. Don’t be shy to ask if they think whether divorce is a viable alternative. What if you’re not comfortable with what the therapist is suggesting? Just say no. If he doesn’t respect your decision, you should look for another competent professional.
Before you see a therapist, you should have concrete goals. And if you don’t see progress a few weeks into the marriage, you must address your concerns. Don’t look for someone who can help you trend water but one who can help you swim.
Where to find a couples therapist in my area?
Perhaps the best place to start is our Find a Therapist Directory. Just visit their website and you’ll find a qualified therapist. If there’s a university around your home, the psychology department will mostly have a therapist. Is there a community mental clinic near you? If there are no certified therapists, ask those who work there to give referrals.
Divorce lawyers can also help you identify couples therapists in your area. A good lawyer should respect your decision of finding a counselor before you think of a divorce or separation. Don’t forget to ask for recommendations from close family members. It gets better if you find a friend who has worked with a therapist before.
Questions to ask when you call for an appointment
While it may seem difficult to ask about cost and credentials, these questions will have a tremendous effect on the outcome of the therapy sessions.
A professional therapist should be comfortable to answer any question. When you make that call, ask the therapist whether he’s licensed to do the job. Secondly, inquire about their training and experience.
How long have they worked with couples? Don’t forget to ask how many couples he or she has worked with has ended up in divorce and those who chose to stay together. For those who chose to separate, did they do it in a healthy way? More specifically, look for professionals who use cbt therapy.
Another you get to know the therapist is to ask them to share their philosophy on marriage. This is important because the latest statistics reveal that 40% of couples’ who seek divorce regret the decision later in life. If a therapist sees marriage as an institution, his legitimate goal should be to help the couple find love.
What if my partner refuses to go?
There’re many reasons why your partner won’t go for couple’s counseling. Do you end up fighting when you bring the topic of couples counseling? Maybe there’s the fear of being judged when someone else finds out or he’s afraid you’ll judge him. Other times, one of the partners may have given up on the relationship – all these are possibilities. Don’t keep pressing the issue with your resistant partner as it only makes the situation worse.
The best way to approach the matter is to seek an appointment with your therapist and go. He may give you some tips on how you can effectively talk with your partner. In most cases, when a partner finds out you’re making efforts she will be friendly.
What if my partner has been seeing a therapist?
It’s only appropriate if he works with both of you. If you bring in a new therapist, chances are that your partner will feel at a disadvantage. The decision on who to see for treatment should be well thought out. Unless you’re looking to solve individual problems, you should embrace the idea of working as a couple. Sometimes, your partner may feel at a disadvantage if he or she believes you’ve established a relationship with your therapist. The decision on who to see should be a careful one.
What happens if your partner suggests that you suspend your individual therapy? If one partner does individual work, there’s a probability that you may process the material you had during the individual therapy session.
Will Relationship Counseling Near Me Work?
If you’re not sure whether a couple’s therapy will work, you’re not alone. When both partners are willing to take their marriage to its former glory, it’s only wise if they involve a third party. If you think couples counseling is a waste of time, you’re wrong. However, both of you must be willing to make changes for the relationship to work.
According to the American Psychological Association, about 75% of couple’s therapy is effective. The success rate will depend on whether a couple is willing to learn the basics. On the very basic, communication is important. While most people will have challenges distinguishing the feelings from thoughts, this is something that is encouraged during the therapy sessions.
Another important tip is that couples should stop seeing each other as opponents but rather as partners who want to work out their differences. A critical part of the success is to have compassion for each other’s feelings and emotional traumas.
Finally, you should appreciate the willingness of each partner to bring a positive change to their lives. Nothing will get solved if you’re not willing to open up every aspect of your own behavior.
In a nutshell, most people who attend couples therapy report a positive change in their marriage and increased commitment to their partner. Even if they end up in a divorce, couples always say that counseling helped them learn some lessons.