Why won’t he propose is one of the most common questions women ask themselves when they’ve been dating for a while.
After all, there are many things to think about when you’re in a relationship: whether or not you’re both on the same page, how your family and friends will react, and of course – when he’s going to propose.
If you’re like most women, you’re probably wondering why he hasn’t proposed yet.
Here are 13 possible reasons he won’t propose, what to do next, and how not to go crazy when you’re obsessed with engagement.
Check Out: How Soon is Too Soon to Propose
A couple of Things to Consider First
Before we get into the reasons he hasn’t proposed, there are a couple things you should consider first:
How long have you been dating? – If you’ve only been dating for a few months, it’s probably too soon to expect a proposal.
On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for several years, you might be wondering what the hold-up is.
Are you on the same page? – It’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page about your relationship before you start talking about marriage.
Do you want the same things? – Do you both want to get married and have children?
If not, that could be a reason he hasn’t proposed yet.
What’s his family like? – If his parents are divorced or he comes from a broken home, that could be affecting his views on marriage.
Is he ready for marriage? – Some men just aren’t ready for marriage, no matter how much they love you.
If that’s the case, there’s not much you can do except wait it out or move on.
Also Read: How to Know You’re With The Wrong Person
13 Reasons He Won’t Propose
Now that we’ve considered a few things, let’s look at some of the reasons he hasn’t proposed yet.
They’re not ready for marriage
Some guys won’t propose because quite frankly, they’re not ready for marriage. They might want to wait a few more years to get married, or they might not be sure if they want to spend the rest of their lives with one person.
Some guys also might not be ready to take on the responsibilities that come with marriage, such as supporting a family financially or emotionally.
Whatever the reason, if a guy isn’t ready to get married, he probably won’t propose.
That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love the person he’s dating; it just means that he isn’t ready for marriage yet.
If you’re dating someone who hasn’t proposed after a long time, you might need to have a conversation about what each of you wants for the future.
Read: how to deal with relationship anxiety
They’re afraid of commitment.
When it comes to marriage, some men are just plain afraid of commitment. The thought of being with one woman for the rest of their lives can be downright terrorizing for some guys.
They may love their girlfriend dearly, but the idea of being tied down for the rest of their days is enough to make them break out in a cold sweat.
These men may never explicitly say it, but their actions (or lack thereof) speak volumes.
If a man has been with a woman for years and shows no signs of ever wanting to get married, it’s probably because he’s afraid of taking that final plunge.
Read: How Soon is Too Soon to Move In
They don’t want to deal with the wedding planning
Some guys simply don’t want the hassle of planning a wedding. It’s not that they don’t love their partner or don’t want to spend the rest of their lives with them, but the idea of planning a wedding is just too overwhelming.
For these guys, the thought of dealing with caterers, florists, and venues is just too much to handle.
Additionally, they may not be interested in all the details that go into planning a wedding.
They would much prefer to simply elope or have a small ceremony with close family and friends.
Ultimately, each guy has his own reasons for why he may not want to propose, but for some, planning a wedding is just not something they’re interested in.
Read: 21 Questions For a New Relationship (For Ultimate Clarity)
They’re worried about what their friends and family will think
As anyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows, the question of when or if to get married is not always an easy one to answer.
For some guys, the decision whether or not to propose can be especially daunting.
In addition to the usual concerns about whether their partner is ready for marriage, they may also be worried about what their friends and family will think.
Will their friends give them a hard time for getting married “too soon”? Will their parents disapprove of their choice of spouse?
These concerns can be enough to make some guys hesitate to take the plunge, even if they’re otherwise ready for marriage.
Of course, there are also plenty of guys who couldn’t care less about what other people think and are more than happy to proposed as soon as they find the right person.
In the end, it’s up to each individual guy to decide whether the potential benefits of marriage are worth the risk of judgement from others.
Read: How To Deal With Unhealthy Boundaries With An Ex-Wife
They’re not sure if you’re the one
Some guys won’t propose because they’re not sure if you’re the one. They don’t want to make a commitment if there’s a chance that things might not work out.
They’re afraid of getting rejected or of being stuck in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
Sometimes, guys just need a little more time to be sure that you’re the one for them. If you’re patient, he’ll eventually come around and realize that you’re worth taking the leap for.
In the meantime, try to enjoy the relationship for what it is and don’t put too much pressure on him to pop the question.
They’re worried about money
Some guys won’t propose because they’re worried about money. They think that they can’t afford to get married, and they don’t want to put their partner through the stress of living paycheck to paycheck.
Others are reluctant to take on the responsibility of a wife and children. They’re afraid that they’ll end up like their father: working long hours to support a family that he never gets to see. And then there are those who simply don’t believe in marriage.
They’ve seen too many marriages end in divorce, and they don’t want to put themselves through the hassle and expense of getting divorced down the line.
Whatever the reason, there are plenty of guys out there who aren’t ready or willing to take the plunge and get married.
They don’t feel ready to be a husband or father
For some guys, the idea of being a husband or father is just too much to handle. They’re not ready for the responsibility that comes with marriage and family life.
They want to enjoy their freedom while they still can. They don’t want to be tied down by a wife and kids.
Some guys simply aren’t ready for the commitment that comes with marriage. They need a little more time to figure things out before they’re ready to settle down.
If you’re in a relationship with one of these guys, you’ll just have to be patient and wait for him to come around. Eventually, he’ll realize that he’s ready to take the next step.
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They have trust issues
There are a number of reasons why some guys may be hesitant to propose, but one of the most common is trust issues.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to be able to trust your partner.
This means being able to rely on them when things get tough and knowing that they’ll be there for you no matter what.
For some guys, this can be a big issue. They may have been hurt in the past by someone they thought they could trust, and as a result, they may be hesitant to put themselves in that position again.
If your guy is having trust issues, it’s important to talk about it and try to find a way to work through it together. Only then will you be able to take the next step in your relationship.
They’re not over their ex
Some guys just can’t seem to move on from their ex. They hold onto the hope that things will work out between them, even though it’s clear that it’s not going to happen.
And because they’re still hung up on someone else, they’re not able to fully commit to a new relationship.
So if your guy seems like he’s still stuck in the past, it might be one of the reasons why he hasn’t proposed yet.
It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but it does mean that he’s not ready to take that next step.
Read: What Does It Mean When You Dream About Your Ex? (37 Explanations)
They’re afraid of change
Some men are afraid of change, and this can be a big reason why they won’t propose to their girlfriend.
They may have been happy with the way things were going, and don’t want to rock the boat by getting married.
They may also be worried about the financial implications of marriage, or the potential for conflict within the relationship.
Whatever the reason, this fear of change can hold them back from taking the next step in their relationship.
If you’re in a long-term relationship with a guy who hasn’t proposed yet, it might be worth having a conversation about what’s holding him back.
Marriage is a big step, but it can also be a wonderful way to solidify your love for each other.
They’re not sure if you’re ready for marriage
Some guys are hesitant to propose because they’re not sure if their girlfriend is ready for marriage.
They may want to wait until she’s a little older, or until she’s had a chance to experience more of life.
This can be a tough one, because you may be ready for marriage but your guy isn’t sure if you are.
If this is the case, it’s important to have a conversation about it. Talk about your plans for the future and see if he’s on the same page.
Even if he’s not ready to get married right now, he may be willing to discuss the possibility of getting married down the line.
They don’t want to rush into things.
Some guys are just naturally cautious. They want to take their time and make sure that they’re making the right decision before they take the plunge.
And while there’s nothing wrong with that, it can sometimes lead to a guy not proposing when you feel like he should.
If you’re in a relationship with a guy who is taking his time, try to be patient.
Understand that he’s just trying to make sure that this is the right decision for both of you.
Eventually, he’ll come around and propose when he’s ready.
Read: Top 61 Affirmations to Attract Romance and a Healthy Relationship
They’re not ready for the responsibility
Some guys aren’t ready for the responsibility that comes with marriage.
They may feel like they’re not ready to settle down, or they may not be ready to take on the role of husband and father.
If this is the case, there’s not much you can do except wait it out.
You can try to talk to him about his feelings and see if he’s willing to open up, but ultimately, you’ll just have to be patient.
What to Do Next
If you’ve been dating for a while and he hasn’t proposed yet, it’s important to have a discussion about your relationship.
Sit down with him and talk about where you see things going.
If he’s not ready for marriage, try to find out why.
Is he afraid of commitment? Does he not want to deal with the wedding planning? Is he worried about what his friends and family will think?
Once you know the reason, you can decide what to do next.
If he’s not ready for marriage, you might have to wait it out or move on.
How to Not Go Crazy When You’re Obsessed With Engagement
If you’re obsessed with engagement and he hasn’t proposed yet, it’s important to stay positive.
Remember that every relationship is different and there’s no set timeline for when he should propose.
Try not to put too much pressure on him or the relationship.
And if you’re really struggling, talk to a friend or family member about your concerns.
They can help you stay positive and keep things in perspective.
Read: How To Get A Boyfriend: 15 Unique Ways to Land a Guy
Final Thoughts
Getting engaged is a big decision. If your guy hasn’t proposed yet, there could be a number of reasons why.
It’s important to have a discussion about your relationship and find out what’s holding him back.
And if you’re struggling to deal with your obsession, talk to a friend or family member for support.
FAQ About Why He Hasn’t Proposed Yet
Below are some of the most frequently asked questions I receive from women who are wondering why he hasn’t proposed yet.
We’ve been together for X amount of time, why hasn’t he proposed?
One common reason is that he’s not ready for marriage yet. He may want to wait a few more years or until he’s accomplished certain goals first.
If this is the case, you can either wait it out or have a conversation about what you’re both looking for and where you see the relationship going.
He said he would never get married/ doesn’t believe in marriage
If he’s told you outright that he doesn’t believe in marriage or that he would never get married, then it’s pretty clear that he’s not going to propose.
You can either accept this and stay in the relationship as it is, or you can move on.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to get married, but you need to be on the same page as your partner.
If you’re not, it’s going to cause problems down the road.
He’s always talking about our future together/ he says he wants to marry me someday
Just because he talks about your future together or says he wants to marry you someday doesn’t mean he’s going to propose any time soon.
He could be saying these things just to placate you or because he knows it’s what you want to hear.
If you’re getting impatient, you can always bring up the topic of marriage and see how he reacts. If he gets uncomfortable or changes the subject, it’s a pretty good sign that he’s not ready to take that step yet.
He hasn’t brought up marriage at all
If he hasn’t brought up marriage at all, it could be because he’s not thinking about it. Or, he could be thinking about it but is afraid to bring it up because he doesn’t know how you feel.
If you want to get married, it’s probably best to bring up the topic yourself and see how he reacts.
He’s been divorced before/ he has kids from a previous relationship
Getting married again or having more children may not be something he’s interested in doing. Or, he could be gun-shy about marriage because his first experience didn’t go well.
If you’re interested in getting married, you’ll need to have a conversation with him about it and see where he stands.
Read: 250+ Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend
He’s under a lot of stress/ he’s going through a tough time
If he’s under a lot of stress or going through a tough time, he may not be thinking about marriage.
Try to be understanding and give him some space. If you can, try to help him through whatever he’s going through.
Once things have settled down, you can bring up the topic of marriage again and see where he stands.
If he’s told you outright that he doesn’t believe in marriage or that
Why hasn’t he proposed yet?
There could be a number of reasons. He might not be ready for marriage, or he might be afraid of commitment.
It’s important to have a discussion with him to find out what’s holding him back.
How can I make him propose?
You can’t make someone propose to you. It has to be something they want to do themselves.
However, you can try to create a situation that is conducive to a proposal, such as taking a trip together.
What if he says he’s not ready for marriage?
If he says he’s not ready for marriage, it’s important to respect his wishes.
You can try to talk to him about what he envisions for the future and see if there is a way to compromise.
Read: How To Not Be A Dry Texter: 25 Tips To Be More Engaging
What if he won’t even talk about marriage?
If he won’t talk about marriage, it might be a sign that he’s not ready for that level of commitment.
In this case, it might be best to give him some space and see if he comes around on his own.
What are the signs he’s never going to propose?
There are a few signs that he’s never going to propose. If he’s not interested in talking about marriage, if he’s not ready to move in together, or if he doesn’t see a future with you, these might be signs that he’s not ready to take the next step.
If you’re at the point where you’re considering whether or not to break up with him, it might be helpful to consult with a therapist or counselor.
What should I do if I’m ready to move on?
If you’re ready to move on, it’s important to be honest with yourself and with him.
Tell him that you’re not going to wait around forever and that you deserve to be with someone who is ready to commit.
If he’s not willing to make a move, then it might be time to end the relationship.
What should I do if I can’t stop thinking about him?
If you can’t stop thinking about him, it might be a sign that you’re not ready to move on.
In this case, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you deal with your feelings and figure out what to do next.
Read: Does He Like Me? 39 Signs That the Answer Is Probably Yes
Should I propose to him?
You should only propose to him if you’re sure that he’s ready and willing to accept.
If you’re not sure, it might be best to wait until he’s ready to make a move.
What if I’m not ready for marriage?
If you’re not ready for marriage, it’s important to be honest with him.
Tell him that you’re not ready and see if he’s willing to wait. If he’s not willing to wait, then it might be best to end the relationship.
Marriage is a big decision, and it’s important to make sure that both of you are on the same page before taking the next step.
