How do you know when the man in your life is secretly fighting his feelings for you?
There are many clear signs that can show this. We all want to love and be loved in return, but sometimes it’s hard to admit our true feelings.
Sometimes it takes a while before we can give up on our stubborn pride and admit how much someone means to us.
We’ve compiled a list of indicators to look out for if you believe he’s battling his feelings for you, but isn’t sure.
This article contains 15 of the most common signs he’s fighting his feelings for you!
1. He is nervous around you.
If a guy is charming and self-assured around others except for you, there’s a reason for it.
We all engage in this behavior from time to time – we’re feeling sassy and witty until our crush walks in, at which point we become self-conscious and embarrassed.
If he’s doing the same, it’s probably because he’s confused about his feelings for you, making him feel a little uncomfortable.
He may feel compelled to show a little more restraint around you, or he might just become bashful when you’re around.
When we like someone, we want them to like us. This makes us more aware of our behavior and what we do. Sometimes this leads to us not talking as much or being quiet when we really want to talk more.
2. He doesn’t make eye contact with you.
It’s one thing for him to act differently around you, but for him to avoid looking into your eyes outright?
A clear indication!
We like people because we want to look at them, check them out, flirt with them a little, and let them know how much we appreciate them.
We avoid looking at someone when we like them, but are afraid they’ll be able to read what’s going on in our minds because our eyes give away our true feelings.
Looking into someone’s eyes can be wonderfully intimate, particularly when we like the individual we’re looking at.
Our eyes reveal a lot about us, including our emotions and desires, which is why we don’t want people to know what they truly are.
This guy may not be ready to let you see what he thinks about you, or he might be attempting to conceal his feelings for you due to a variety of reasons!
In either case, if he’s trying his hardest to avoid catching your attention, it’s a pretty obvious indication that he likes you and doesn’t want you to find out.
3. He treats you coldly.
It’s not uncommon for men to treat women who are close to them or have romantic feelings towards in an indifferent manner, but if he only does so when the two of you are alone?
He probably doesn’t want his true emotions about your relationship being known!
He might not admit it, but he probably enjoys spending time with you despite trying to conceal his true feelings.
This can be a confusing scenario for anyone – we want someone close to us who also wants the same thing too, yet doesn’t seem capable of acting on their desires or being open about them.
We may feel that this person doesn’t reciprocate our feelings for various reasons, which can lead to us distancing ourselves from them or being cold.
Consider this guy’s behavior carefully – if he treats you in a manner that is very different when the two of you are alone compared to when other people are around, it may be because he knows his true feelings and wants to conceal them.
4. He becomes nervous when you touch him.
When we like someone, the idea of them touching us can be both exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time!
We want to feel close to our crush because it makes us happy; however, if he’s not used to being touched romantically or sexually by you (or anyone else, for that matter), it might be because he’s nervous.
He’s probably not used to being touched in a manner that suggests you want more from him, so his initial reaction is usually one of uncertainty and anxiety!
If the two of you have been flirting or physically intimate before, but this time he didn’t respond as expected, he probably feels unsure about what to do in the situation.
This is why it’s so important for him to get used to you touching him and vice versa – if he isn’t comfortable with your body, don’t try anything! If he does like you but can’t handle being touched frequently or intimately by you yet, give him time.
Even if he doesn’t like you, the idea of your hands on him might make him uncomfortable for various reasons.
While it’s possible that he is trying to keep his feelings hidden from you and likes you but wants to conceal them due to a variety of factors (e.g., family or friends don’t approve), there are other signs he might be hiding his true feelings.
He may not want to tell you how he feels because it’s too soon, or the timing isn’t right – just give him time and don’t rush into anything!
5. He avoids you.
If he does like you and is trying to conceal his feelings, the worst thing for him would be spending time with you, right?
He might avoid being around you as much as possible because it makes him uncomfortable – whether that’s due to your proximity or signs of affection (e.g., kissing), it doesn’t matter.
He’s probably not used to being intimate with someone he likes, so acting on his feelings will be a completely new experience for him!
If you’ve been flirting and hanging out together a lot but all of a sudden stop seeing each other as often, it could simply mean that the two of you aren’t compatible or that he needs time to think about his feelings.
Even if you’re not talking much, it’s likely that the two of you see each other at least once a week – avoid jumping to conclusions and give him space!
6. He’s too busy for you.
It’s completely normal to avoid someone that we like if they don’t feel the same way about us, right?
We’d want nothing more than to spend time with them and be around them constantly – but it can also be draining or even upsetting after a while!
Imagine how he must feel if the two of you are spending time together, but he can’t quite bring himself to act on his feelings.
It’s likely that the idea of being in a relationship is daunting for someone who has never been in one before, which means they need more space than usual until they’re ready to commit!
If all signs point to him liking you but he suddenly isn’t as available, give him space and avoid being too clingy.
There are a few other signs that might indicate he’s hiding his feelings from you – even if none of the ones above apply to your situation!
For example, some people can become distant when they’re interested in someone because it makes them feel uncomfortable, while others might avoid you because they’re shy and need time to get used to the idea of being in a relationship.
Don’t forget that there are other signs he’s fighting his feelings for you too! If this is what your situation looks like with him, make sure not to rush into anything or give up on him.
7. He doesn’t want to commit.
If you think the signs he is fighting his feelings for you are related to commitment, then there’s a possibility that your relationship with him isn’t exactly what it appears on the surface!
From avoiding being around you all the time or giving up after just one attempt at getting together again, these signs can indicate that he wants more space than usual.
While it’s possible to have a casual relationship with someone, this is usually the case when two people are just friends who care about each other on some level.
If your signs of affection for him don’t elicit any type of response from him or if you’ve tried being together multiple times and he always breaks up with you, it might be time to move on and consider the signs of him fighting his feelings for you.
It’s completely normal to try again with someone we like after a breakup or when they need more space, but if nothing changes even after multiple attempts at spending time together, then there must be another reason why!
8. He’s emotionally unavailable.
If signs he is fighting his feelings for you are related to emotional availability, there could be a few reasons why!
Some people have trouble opening up when they’re in an intimate relationship because of the fear that they’ll get hurt or rejected – it can take time and effort to let someone into your heart completely!
If signs of him pushing you away are related to this, it’s likely that he needs time and space until he feels like he knows how to handle his feelings for you.
Even if your signs of affection don’t elicit any kind of response from him or if you’ve tried being together multiple times but get rejected every single time, it might be time to move on and consider signs he is fighting his feelings for you.
9. He’s been hurt before.
People can become emotionally unavailable after a breakup or when they’ve experienced some kind of heartbreak in the past – it might be too painful for them to try again until they’re ready!
If signs of him pushing you away are related to this, he needs time and space until he feels like he knows how to handle his feelings for you.
Sometimes it’s necessary to move on from someone who doesn’t want to be with us or isn’t emotionally available, but if all signs point to him liking you and there are no other reasons why he would avoid being around you, try talking!
Have a conversation about the boundaries of your relationship – you might be surprised at how many people actually want to get together with you but don’t know how!
If nothing changes even after multiple attempts, then it’s time to move on and consider signs of him fighting his feelings for you.
10. He is flirting with you, but he is not acting on his advances.
Some guys like you and they do things to show it. But then, nothing happens after that.
If he is telling you that you are pretty and trying to be close to you, there’s a chance that he likes you.
He may compliment you, run into you on purpose, and otherwise be charming around you, but he has not asked for your phone number or requested to go out with you.
If he’s halfway there, it’s because he’s holding back. It might be because he isn’t totally certain how he feels about you; alternatively, it could be because he doesn’t know how you feel.
It’s a clue that he is resisting his true feelings – after all, if he was being honest with himself about how he felt, wouldn’t have asked you out by now!
11. He’s always bragging in front of you.
You may notice that he’s attempting to impress you all the time, whether it’s by demonstrating unusual talents, discussing fascinating things he gets up to, or being his most charming self when you’re around.
This is a telltale sign he’s fighting his feelings for you – he isn’t ready to commit to how he feels and ask you out, but he wants you to like him as much as he likes you.
He wants you to see how intriguing, funny, and popular he is, or how well the two of you would get along.
This might be his approach of testing the water to see how you respond and if you’d agree with him.
It may also be his means of flirting with you and enjoying your company without having to put in much work or risk being turned down!
12. He doesn’t want to be seen with you.
If he’s trying to make it obvious that the two of you are not an item, this could mean that he is interested in getting together but lacks confidence or commitment!
He might avoid being open about your relationship for fear of what others will think – if his friends and family don’t approve, he might not want to risk exposing you!
Or it could be that in order to make himself feel better about risking rejection by asking you out on a date, he’s trying to convince himself (and others) that you aren’t together at all.
If the two of you are friends and spend most of your time hanging out in a group, this could be his way of creating some distance and keeping you at arm’s length.
13. He is acting distant.
If he has been avoiding spending time with you and seems to be keeping his distance, it could mean that he’s scared of what might happen if the two of you spend more quality time together!
He may know deep down that there are romantic feelings between the two of you, but because these emotions scare him or seem overwhelming, he is trying to keep you at arm’s length.
He doesn’t want to risk the chance that something might happen between the two of you that will change how he feels about being friends with you!
If this has been going on for a while and nothing seems likely to develop in your relationship when it comes down to it, you should start to question whether he really cares about you at all.
14. He’s trying to get your attention in a negative way.
If he is making snide remarks, being unkind, or acting mean towards you, it could be his indirect method of saying that there are feelings between the two of you, but they aren’t positive ones!
He could be very attracted to you but also frustrated by how this is making him feel.
If he’s not ready for a relationship or finds the idea of being in one with you frightening, getting upset and lashing out at you might make him feel better!
This isn’t right – if something actually did happen between the two of you, he might regret his actions!
15. He only wants to be friends.
You may find that he is still happy to spend time with you, but has made it clear that the two of you are not together.
If the way he acts towards you around other people implies that there is nothing romantic between the two of you (he’s very platonic and casual), this is probably his way of trying to create distance.
He doesn’t want you to think that there is an opportunity for something more between the two of you, even if he likes you a lot!
It’s possible that this could be because he has no idea how to handle his feelings for you and gets embarrassed by them – it might not be his intention to lead you on!
The Bottom line
If he seems to be avoiding you, trying not to spend any quality time with you and consistently clarifying that the two of you are just friends, then there is a strong chance that this could well mean that he doesn’t feel ready for something serious between the two of you!
He might also have some other reasons why being in a relationship isn’t a good idea for him right now.
It’s possible that he is hoping you’ll get the hint and back off.
But if this hasn’t happened, it may be time to try talking about how you feel about him!
If your efforts aren’t well-received or he continues to push you away, then there really isn’t any point in continuing to pursue him.
If he’s not interested enough to try to make something happen between the two of you, then it isn’t going to!
You might want nothing more than for the two of you to be together, but sometimes this just isn’t meant to be, no matter how much we may want it otherwise.
FAQ
What are the signs a guy is confused about his feelings for you?
It can be very confusing when a guy is fighting his feelings for you. You may not know what’s going on, or if he likes you back at all.
Here are some clear signs that he’s confused about how to act around you because of his hidden feelings:
-He doesn’t reach out often, but always responds when you text him.
-He doesn’t ask to hang out, but always wants to when you invite him.
-When he does spend time with you, it’s often at a public place like the movies or coffee shop where other people can join in on your fun.
-You say something that makes him laugh, and he immediately responds by saying “you’re so cute.”
-He tells you about his problems, but doesn’t ask for your advice or help to solve them.
-You’ve had a few small disagreements lately, and he’s apologized for more than once for getting snippy with you.
-When you’re together, he often compliments things like your clothes, shoes, or hair.
-He’s clingy when you don’t text back right away—but not in a romantic way.
is he in denial about his feelings for me?
No guy wants to admit how he feels, even if it’s positive. He may be afraid of being rejected or letting his feelings get in the way of other things going on between you two right now.
He could also just not know 100% for sure that he likes you yet and is still testing out what this relationship means before committing fully.
what do If a guy is fighting his feelings for me?
Just let him be.
Don’t force anything with someone who’s unsure about his feelings for you and what he wants to happen next in your relationship.
Letting things go on like this can actually make it easier for the guy to figure out if he likes you or not, so don’t feel tempted to get pushy and demand he give you a clear answer.
if a guy is fighting his feelings for me, does that mean he doesn’t like me?
Don’t jump to conclusions! Just because someone’s unsure about what they want right now or how they feel, it doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t any chemistry between you two.
Let him come to you when he’s ready.
Don’t let yourself get too invested in someone who isn’t willing or able to open up about his emotions yet, though—it could lead to a lot of unnecessary heartbreak down the road.
What if he is fighting his feelings for me, but I like him?
It’s completely fine to be into someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. But it’s also okay if you don’t want to wait around forever until they “figure things out.”
If this guy isn’t willing or able to give you what you need in the relationship, then stop wasting your time and focus on someone who is.
how do I get a guy to stop fighting his feelings for me?
In order to make this happen, you have to give him the space he needs right now.
Until he’s figured things out enough himself, there isn’t much else you can do on your end besides wait and see what happens next with how he feels about you.
If you’re impatient and pushy, it could make him feel more unsure about himself or even scare him away.
What if he is fighting his feelings for me and I’m not interested anymore?
If you’ve tried your best to be open about what you want in the relationship but it’s just not working out, then it may be time to cut things off.
He needs space right now—and if that means ending this for good, then so be it.
What if I’m fighting my feelings for him?
It could mean that you’re not 100% sure about what this relationship is or where it’s headed yet.
If this is the case, then you should be honest about how you feel about him instead of keeping things bottled up inside.
Don’t let your fear stop you from telling someone what they mean to you or risk losing them forever by waiting too long!
Does he like me?
Look for signs that tell you one way or the other.
For example, if he’s always complimenting you or being affectionate in public, then it may be a sign that he likes you back—but if he avoids talking about your relationship or gets snippy when things get serious between you two, there might not be any chemistry for him after all.
why would a guy deny having feelings?
He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings if he’s not interested in you the same way.
Maybe he wants to keep things casual right now and isn’t ready for anything more serious yet—no matter how much he may like you as a person or enjoy spending time with you.
Is it normal for guys to fight their feelings?
It’s completely normal to want some time and space before you commit fully or be open about your emotions.
No matter how sure he may seem on the outside, there could always still be a part of him that needs more time alone with himself in order to figure out what exactly it is he wants from this relationship right now.
Is it possible for a guy to have feelings but not want them?
Yes—because everyone processes emotions differently.
If he’s really struggling with how he feels, your best option is to give him the space and time he needs right now so that whatever happens next can happen on his own terms.
It’s always better to let someone come to you when they’re ready, rather than forcing yourself on them.
Is it possible for a guy not to like me back?
It’s definitely possible that he doesn’t have the same feelings as you—or maybe his interest in you hasn’t been very consistent from day one.
Don’t be afraid of the truth—if he’s not into you, there is nothing wrong with that.
