How to make a narcissist obsessed with you (10 Strategies to Get Them to Miss You)

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You know the type. They are so self-obsessed that they can’t see anything beyond their own reflection in the mirror.

Narcissists are interesting creatures, and though some might find them dangerous, it is possible to have a relationship with one.

It’s just important to be aware of how you need to act if you want to make your narcissistic partner miss you.

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What makes people miss you?

The experience of missing someone or something very dear, whether present or absent, is an internal insight that affirms the reality of the matter and has an emotional and emotive value capable of being remembered.

To Miss allows you to establish a sense of continuity. We want the people, things, or circumstances we enjoyed to continue.

When this does not occur, we have the opportunity of finding out that it isn’t there any longer, but that it can be in a new way, with another presence and density.

A trigger is required to begin thinking: a particular date, a photo, an anniversary, a location, a smell, or even a memory are all examples of this.

If you miss someone only when you’re sad or lonely, it isn’t necessarily love. We merely try to get rid of our loneliness by recalling pleasant memories of a person.

Instead, when you want to share the most joyful or trying events in your life with someone, then you may care for them.

When it comes to love, our desire is to be with that person for as long as possible. We begin to question whether the other person is a continual requirement of our heart when we divide, even momentarily.

We must make sure that missing does not turn us into slaves or adherents; rather, it should be seen as a healthy indicator of strong, meaningful, long-lasting relationships; a natural consequence of the bond.

Mood, affections, and the body are all afflicted by absence. We miss everything we have. In that condition, a portion of us is taken from us.

We don’t always value or give time and care to the person we miss when they’re not around. We will eventually miss them when they are no longer present.

How to make a Narcissist Miss you

In my prior articles, I stated that narcissists require narcissistic supply and attention in order to function properly.

If you’ve been a good supply but have split up, they’ll miss you if they can’t find an alternative source of supply.

But does it imply being a good supply is the only way to keep a narcissist missing after separation?

Of course not, because as soon as they locate another source of supply, they will forget about you. That’s why simply being a supplier isn’t enough.

Narcissists have other emotional needs in addition to feeling superior and important. Every person has an emotional need for intimacy.

However, the majority of narcissists are unable to develop a trustworthy bond with others or achieve deep emotional closeness.

When you can share your real feelings, worries, and secrets without fear of being judged, you have established an intimate relationship or friendship with someone.

This may strengthen the connection between both people and eliminate isolation.

For narcissists, though, they are so guarded and suspicious that they are unable to disclose their inner selves to anyone.

They long for connection, but they are afraid of being perceived as weak, which prevents them from opening up to emotional intimacy.

Despite this, the majority of them live with unacknowledged loneliness, despite being surrounded by adoring fans.

Intimacy isn’t determined by the number of pals; it’s about the quality of your friendship. You can have 100 friends around you and still feel lonely.

If you can transform a narcissist into a close buddy, you’ll be one of a kind to him. They would miss you after separation, and they would not allow you to go easily.

10 Ways to Make a Narcissist Obsessed With You

If you want to know how to get a narcissist to chase you, you must first understand what the word means.

A narcissist is someone with an overly grandiose view of oneself, an excessive need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a desire for uniqueness and special treatment, according to Psychology Today.

This individual, according to the Urban Dictionary, lacks a soul and has an inflated ego. It doesn’t sound like narcissists are the nicest people to be around.

I don’t think I’d call them devoid of a soul unless they were sociopaths; rather, I see them as individuals who don’t know how to experience empathy; in my opinion, they’re just high-maintenance folks.

1. Give them attention and be a good listener

There’s so much more to listening than just hearing. According to the Harvard Business Review, a good listener is engaging, interactive, cooperative, and encouraging.

This individual attentively listens to what the other person has to say and provides helpful criticism. Doesn’t it sound like a lot?

So, how does this help you win over self-centered individuals? They enjoy talking, thinking out loud, and/or having a sounding board to air their concerns.

Learn to pay attention carefully so that you may discover things to talk about and do together.

Hearing is an excellent method of discovering more about someone, as well as finding topics where you have common ground.

Make an effort to listen carefully and give appropriate, helpful replies. Demonstrate that you are a good communicator by showing it.

2. Share their interests and passions

You’ll learn more about the individual you’re interested in as you get to know them better.

You’ll discover their interests, hobbies, and values as you get to know them better.

What are your mutual interests? Is it possible for you two to fake interest until you discover a method to be genuinely interested?

Find a topic that interests you from their passion.

My partner, for example, is a big fan of bird watching and talking about the many sorts of birds. To me, this topic is dull.

However, I adore shopping! I got pleasure from buying bird feeders and different types of bird food.

I love finding new ways to attract birds because he’s passionate about it!

3. Find common ground

A great way to get closer to a narcissist is to find common ground. For example, if you both love something such as swimming or running, then spend time talking about that activity and try to do it together when possible.

Narcissists will often use this tactic because they like the feeling of knowing someone else who shares their interests and values them more than most people because of it.

Confirming their beliefs and showing them that they can trust you because you understand them will make a narcissist feel like he or she has met someone who is truly special, something all narcissists crave deep down inside.

4. Build a sense of mystery

Another great narcissistic tactic to use when trying to make them miss you is building a sense of mystery.

Narcissists like the feeling of always wanting more and, keeping something hidden can create that excitement within them.

If they don’t know everything about you, if there’s still some part of your life kept hidden, they will always feel a desire to know more.

This is why building a sense of mystery can be very effective when trying to make them miss you, because it plays into their natural need for constant desire and longing that all narcissists have within themselves.

5. Create a false sense of distance

Creating a false sense of distance is another effective way to get under the skin of someone who has narcissistic tendencies.

For example, if you want to make them miss you, then pretend that something happened and avoid all contact with them for a while so they can’t reach out to try and talk or see you in person.

Narcissists will often start to panic because they want a sense of control over their relationships and when someone tries to distance themselves from them without explanation it can be very scary for them.

In terms of creating false senses, this tactic is one that creates fear in the mind of a narcissist so if you truly want to make them miss you and think about what they had, using this tactic is the way to do it.

6. Show them you’ve moved on

One of the best and most effective ways to make a narcissist miss you is by showing that you have already moved on.

Narcissists don’t like feeling left behind or replaced, especially if it’s happening right before their eyes where they can see it happen with their own two eyes.

If they see that you’ve completely moved on and aren’t thinking about them anymore, it can be very emotionally painful for a narcissist.

They want to feel like the only one in your life and having someone else take their place is something no narcissist wants because it’s such an ego-shattering blow.

7. Be self-assured and confident

Self-assurance is the ultimate aphrodisiac to a narcissist. You may demonstrate confidence by demonstrating that you are fully aware of your identity.

Maintain an erect posture and stare straight ahead with your shoulders back and eyes forward.

Be confident in yourself, and smile as you go along. Express unshakable self-esteem in all aspects of your life.

8. Look your finest

If you want to catch the attention of a narcissist, try looking really gorgeous!

Treat yourself to a spa day to make yourself feel beautiful, and pick out a little red dress for when you go shopping.

Make yourself feel like royalty and his socks will fly off! Get a free makeover at the makeup shop in the mall.

Treat yourself to a massage and have your nails, toes, or whole body waxed. Get highlights at the hair salon or have your hair cut or styled in a new way.

Dress like you’re going to be on the cover of Vogue and that narcissist will want to add you to his harem!

You’ll feel so much better about yourself. You’ll also get the attention of every narcissist you’re pursuing.male around!

9. Be your own person.

Nurture your own hobbies and interests; demonstrate that you aren’t clingy or needy.

Maintaining distance may make him miss you more frequently. The longer you’re apart, the more your heart grows to like each other.

You don’t need to play games with his feelings; simply let him know that you can manage just fine on your own.

Nurture your personal interests and hobbies as well as showing that you have a life of your own.

Find a new interest by learning about something new to appreciate. Create a new lifestyle that is vegan, for example.

Anything to divert your attention away from men is a good idea. Cooking or knitting lessons are both excellent ideas.

He’ll be stunned at your independence and self-assurance, and before you know it, he’ll be pounding on your door.

10. It’s a good idea to play hard to get.

You know it’s difficult not to think about and pursue males, right? It’s more like an addiction than anything!

Start focusing on something else, even if you believe it isn’t that significant. This will provide you time apart and teach you how to attract men to you.

Make yourself a mystery! Make him work to catch your attention! Narcissists enjoy putting themselves in a position of power.

Allow him to learn about you gradually, similar to how an onion is peeled. Don’t open up too quickly; give the two of you time to get to know one another that way.

What Should I Do With My Narc Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

If you have a narcissistic partner, take another look at your love life to ensure you are receiving the love you deserve. Narcissists frequently employ mental chess tactics in an attempt to entice you into adoring them. Do you really want to go through that? I understand how exciting it is to have drama and adventure in your life, but it can become tiring over time.

Narcissists may be unable to give you the love you need, according to research. People in love express their emotions by expressing words of affirmation, giving excellent time, and providing physical affection, according to studies. When a partner showed interest in their life, gave moral and emotional support, and tolerated their flaws, participants felt more love.

Consider if your partner can truly change into someone who could do those things for you. Is the definition of love how your narcissistic lover treats you? I believe that a narcissist’s treatment of their partner is quite the opposite of love. In other words, it’s nigh on impossible for them to sympathize and deal with you in a way that reflects your worth.

The Bottom Line

What attracts you to narcissists? Is it their energy? Their appearance? Swagger and charisma?

As long as you keep believing your narcissistic partner will change, the relationship won’t be able to improve.

What attracts a narcissist is how easily they can make you feel in order to control you.

They’re master manipulators! If there’s one thing that I know for sure about love relationships, it’s this: if someone loves me, they won’t have any reason to hide anything from me or deceive me because my well-being isn’t just important—it’s vital!

So take time out of your day to figure out what kind of person would really give you happiness…and then go find them instead.


How do you trick a narcissist into leaving?

If you’re seeking to figure out how to make a narcissist unhappy, all you have to do is walk away. To get out of a relationship, you don’t need to play games. Work on your self-love and self-esteem instead. Learn personal limits and let go of your expectations.

Can you get a narcissist to come back?

Yes, you can if you truly desire it, but do you believe he or she is capable of change? Why would you want to be with someone who isn’t able to genuinely love and care for you? Consider the advantages and disadvantages of being involved with someone like this before attempting to persuade them.

Can you outsmart a narcissist?

Of course! You may attract this individual’s attention by playing hard to get. Stay active and let your person of interest know that you’re serious! In other words, go after it with enthusiasm, power, independence, and confidence. Don’t become too consumed by games. Instead, stay strong in your self-esteem!

What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?

Narcissists may find this appealing. They will notice that even though they aren’t treating you well, you are not afraid of them. It’s a fantastic method to make these people feel even worse than you do when you’re with them. Take pleasure in receiving your due reward for your effort.

What makes a narcissist go crazy?

A narcissist is not going to be able to take it when you stop giving them your time and attention. When they see that this person has left, they may feel regretful or possibly try harder than ever before in order to get their source of supply back into the picture!

What makes a narcissist want you more?

Narcissists don’t want you when they have you. They only desire your presence when it’s convenient for them and if their ego is being satisfied by how much attention that they’re receiving from you.

The more time a narcissist spends away from his or her source of supply, the more interested he or she becomes in having this person around again!

How do you tell if a narcissist loves you?

Loving someone is putting their needs before your own. It’s being thoughtful, generous, and kind even when you don’t feel like it.

A narcissist will never be able to care about anyone other than themselves!

How do you tell if a relationship with a narcissist is worth fighting for?

If your partner truly loves you, they should be able to demonstrate it openly and consistently.

If they’re not willing to work on the relationship, there’s no reason for you to stay around feeling unhappy!

How do you turn a narcissist off?

You can’t. Narcissists don’t care that other people are hurting; nor will they ever stop trying to please their ego!

What makes a narcissist tick?

A narcissist is constantly seeking attention. They feed off of it and need to have people around them who are giving their time, love, devotion, or money in order for the individual’s ego to be satisfied.

This person thrives on power struggles because they feel that this will make others admire them!

What makes a narcissist attracted to you?

Narcissists are attracted to people who have low self-esteem, so they feel in control. They don’t go after individuals with high levels of confidence because it doesn’t fit their agenda!

How do I outsmart a narcissist?

By withholding your time and attention, you can get a narcissist to do just about anything!

They’re only hung up on one person at a time. Instead of being their main source of supply, become an option they consider when things aren’t going well with other people in the picture!

What are some signs that someone might be narcissistic?

They are constantly seeking attention; they want to be admired for their looks or intelligence, and they seem self-centered.

How do you stop a narcissist from hurting you?

You can’t. Narcissists don’t see other people as actual individuals; instead, they view everyone else as a means to an end!

Why does a narcissist argue?

Their primary goal is to have dominance over the other person in order for them to feel good about themselves!

How do you deal with a narcissist?

If you’re dealing with this type of person, your best move is to stop giving them your time and attention.

They don’t care about hurting people who are in their life; they only want the individual’s presence when it benefits them.

They have no empathy, feelings, or thoughts about other people’s emotions!

Can a narcissist love you?

No, they can’t. A narcissist’s number one priority is to feed their ego by having people around them who are constantly admiring, praising, or believing in them!

What does a narcissist want?

A narcissist wants to be the center of attention. They need someone who is going to turn people’s heads when they walk into a room and make them feel like this person admires or loves them!

What does a narcissist feel when you move on?

A narcissist is extremely threatened by your independence!

Why do narcissists hurt the ones they love?

Narcissists don’t love. They’re too obsessed with themselves to care about anyone else!

What if a narcissist loves you?

A person who truly cares about other people won’t make them feel bad or accept mistreatment from them in order to get their needs met.

Narcissists feed off of these types of relationships, and they will never be happy if their needs aren’t being met!

How do you get a narcissist to leave?

Stop giving them your time and attention, focus on taking care of yourself, and set boundaries. If the person is trying to hurt or manipulate you in any way, make sure that you cut ties with this individual immediately!

Top 2 Best Options For Discreet Relationship Advice and Guidance

Best Overall

1. JustAnswer Relationship Experts

  • Get answers to tricky relationship questions.
  • Ask relationship counselors and get answers ASAP.
  • Instant Access to counselors for meaningful conversations and guidance.


2. Zocdoc Local Relationship Counselors

  • Browse local therapists by zip code, state or city
  • Read reviews of local relationship counselors
  • See a therapist either in-person or virtually online

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