There is no one more difficult to deal with than a narcissist.
These people are known for their inflated sense of self-importance, preoccupation with success and power, and lack of empathy.
You might be frustrated by the narcissist in your life. You see how they treat other people (and yourself). It’s not great. But have you ever wondered what makes them unhappy? It doesn’t last long, but it can make them unhappy for a short time.
But, if you just need something fast, let’s look at the top 15 things that narcissists despise.
How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 15 Things They Hate
In terms of making a narcissist miserable, walk a fine line. They don’t like upsetting you, but they also want to be the one in control.
While it may seem impossible not to make a narcissist miserable, there are a few things that can help you.
1. Don’t Acknowledge Them
Narcissists need approval, and they will do anything to get it. They steal energy from other people to make themselves feel good.
They don’t care when people are mean because that still gives them attention.
Negative attention can be a way for a narcissist to keep going and prove themselves in what they do.
Narcissists like negative attention.
A lack of acknowledgments is a problem because it makes the person feel ignored.
The worst thing is if people have no opinion about them, so it’s better to be hated than ignored.
Narcissists do not like when nobody pays attention to them.
They can’t feel important or special if they’re not the center of the world.
This is also why Grey Rock doesn’t work and why complete avoidance is best (or extremely modified contact if you have kids with them).
2. Challenge Them With Facts
People who are narcissists speak in long sentences with a lot of emotion. They believe that what they say is true, even if it is not.
When you talk to them about facts, they do not have an advantage because they cannot understand things that are not emotional.
Narcissists despise facts being offered in opposition to emotions. They will usually retaliate with more debate or hysteria.
This immature reaction simply demonstrates that they feel powerless.
They attempt to raise the conversation’s intensity by throwing a temper tantrum as if trying to elevate the argument’s force.
In reality, this mode of interaction only emphasizes the narcissist’s immaturity.
Their lack of capacity to comprehend information shows their ineptitude when it comes to engaging with most adult situations.
They’re not adept at communicating facts since they’re constantly lying and concealing things, so speaking factually throws them for a loop.
3. Exercise Authority
Narcissists don’t like people who tell them what to do. They always think they know best and want to be in charge.
It isn’t uncommon for a narcissist to have problems at work, school, or with the law.
If you think that the narcissist you know has had many jobs, or is often getting into trouble, then it is possible that he is a narcissist.
Narcissists can be good at some things, but they often try to make other people angry.
If you tell them that they did something wrong, they might say that it was not their fault.
Of course, it’s no surprise that most authority figures despise dealing with narcissists.
Supervisors find them challenging and demanding.
They don’t understand why the individual can’t follow simple instructions without such a dramatic response.
4. Don’t be a pushover
A narcissistic person doesn’t want a pushover. They think people who fall all over themselves are pathetic and deserving of being taken advantage of.
In the narcissist’s mind, respect is something that has to be earned through hard work or success in life because they believe their own self-importance justifies it.
Narcissists think that if you’re a pushover, then it’s easy to walk over you.
Because narcissists think that they are invincible and better than everyone else, it is difficult for them to respect other people as equals.
People who lack confidence or become discouraged easily might be seen as someone with low self-worth by the narcissist.
If you’re easily intimidated, then your efforts to stand up for yourself will probably not work.
Narcissists don’t respect people who they think lack confidence or are too timid.
They want someone that is strong and can hold their own against them, so if the narcissist sees weakness in another person, he will take advantage of that.
5. Tell Them No
Being told no (and, in fact, following through) is the worst thing a narcissist can endure.
Narcissists are used to manipulating and weaseling their way into obtaining what they desire.
They’ll go above and above to complete this work.
They’ve spent their whole lives charming people so that they may meet their demands.
They never stop to consider how your feelings might influence the situation.
That is why refusals and being firm in your conviction result in such an enraged response from a narcissist.
A narcissist isn’t just angry over the denial; they’re perplexed by it! A narcissist can’t fathom why someone would decline them.
Because they lack genuine empathy, they are unable to comprehend what is going on in your head.
Furthermore, even if they try to understand it, they refuse to accept it as true.
6. Don’t Feed Their Ego
Narcissists don’t like it when they are not pandered to.
It’s difficult for them to get along with people who do not give compliments or constantly reassure them of their greatness.
They often try to make other people feel bad about themselves because it makes up for their own self-esteem issues.
Narcissists need to be told how amazing and wonderful they are, otherwise, their fragile ego cannot endure it.
They love receiving attention and having people talk about them.
If you don’t give them enough compliments or praise (if at all), then they will feel like the center of attention has shifted from them to someone else.
This will infuriate a narcissist and they’ll do whatever they can to bring the spotlight back on themselves – even if it means making you look bad in the process!
Narcissists believe that everything is about them, so when another person takes center stage (or gets attention), then there’s no place for him.
This is why a narcissist will often try to diminish, discredit, or sabotage anyone who has a chance of outshining them.
7. Don’t Trust Them
Narcissists are not good at keeping secrets.
They’ll use what you’ve told them against you to make themselves look better or for their own self-benefit.
A narcissist is only trustworthy if they want something from you that can further benefit them in some way.
If there’s no ulterior motive, then there’s no reason for them to keep the information confidential.
You can’t trust a narcissist because they’ll always put their needs before yours, and that includes how much you confide in them.
Don’t be surprised if someone who has told you things without your prompting repeats those same secrets at another time just to get a reaction out of you.
A narcissist wants to make sure they stay interesting and intriguing, so they’ll do whatever it takes to keep their audience engaged.
8. Ignore Their Games
Narcissists don’t respond well to being completely ignored.
If you refuse to engage with them, then they’ll find a way to make it your problem rather than theirs.
They will point out all the flaws in your personality and things that bother them about you if their feelings are not getting reciprocated.
They will complain about you behind your back, spread rumors or gossip to others if they are not getting what they want.
A narcissist’s feelings must be acknowledged at all costs! Otherwise, their rage can lead them to do very ruthless things to get revenge on the person who caused it.
If a narcissist feels ignored by you, then they’ll consider you an enemy and will do whatever it takes to get revenge.
They don’t believe in terms like “bros before hoes” or “ladies first”.
If a narcissist is your partner, then be prepared for them to cheat on you with someone else, if that’s what makes them happy.
9. Don’t Be Their Mirror
Narcissists like people who reflect their own image.
They’ll only be friends with someone if that person is willing to support them unconditionally and without question.
A narcissist wants you for the way you make them feel, not because of what they can give in return or how much value you bring to their life.
They want someone who can act as a sounding board for them, so they feel like the smartest person in the room at all times.
If you don’t do this or if you present any kind of challenge for them (even constructive criticism), then it’s likely that your relationship will be cut off before it even has a chance to begin.
Don’t let someone else’s insecurities become your own! It is important that you love yourself enough not to be anyone else but yourself.
Narcissists only want the people who they can shape and mold into their ideal versions of themselves, which means becoming exactly like them.
A narcissist can’t stand people who have their own unique identities and value systems, so they’ll eventually grow tired of you because your personality is too strong to manipulate.
10. Don’t Let Them Play With Your Emotions
Narcissists are masters of deception and manipulation.
They’ll use your emotions against you to get what they want, so it’s important that you don’t let them affect the way you think or behave in any way.
Don’t tell a narcissist anything personal about yourself because they’ll use this information against you.
Don’t let them see any weaknesses or insecurities because they’ll exploit that to their advantage.
11. Don’t Try to Make Them Empathize with You
Narcissists are incapable of empathy, so don’t expect a narcissist to be able to put themselves in your shoes and feel your pain.
They’re more likely to mock you and make fun of how sad or pathetic you are than they are to sympathize with you like a normal person would do.
Don’t try talking about your feelings because it won’t work; narcissists don’t care about other people’s feelings, so why should they start now?
Don’t try to have a heart-to-heart with them because they’ll just walk away without giving you the time of day.
12. Impose Consequences
Have you ever attempted to establish a boundary with a narcissist?
How did it turn out?
You probably attempted to set a limit and were met with one of three reactions:
-Dismissing you completely and gaslighting your feelings
-recognizing their mistake, promising to improve but then doing nothing to change, or reacting violently in outrage.
Narcissists are people who can’t accept any consequences.
They don’t know when they are wrong, and they don’t understand why the other person would think that they’re wrong.
And even if the narcissist understood this, they wouldn’t care.
As a result, it’s harder to have serious conversations with these people because they react disproportionately to boundaries and serious conversations by trying to intimidate you so you will comply.
Unfortunately, many people give up on attempting to impose consequences upon narcissists.
They avoid a possible confrontation by submitting and disregarding their feelings.
How many times have you avoided establishing a genuine boundary because that’s how they are?
13. Don’t Let Them Get to You
So how do you not let a narcissist get to you?
You have to understand that the way they treat you isn’t about your worth, it’s just who they are.
Narcissists don’t know any better and trying to educate them is pointless because they’re uninterested in self-improvement.
It’s important to understand that they don’t hate you; they just can’t help themselves and aren’t intentionally trying to hurt your feelings or make your life miserable.
Narcissists are incapable of empathy, so naturally speaking, this means that narcissism has no cure because it is not a disease nor mental disorder.
14. Don’t Try to Change Them
Narcissists don’t know they’re narcissists and therefore can never change because the problem is a lack of self-awareness, not just an issue with ego or pride that needs deflating.
It’s important to understand that you will never be able to force a narcissist to change.
Narcissists are only capable of changing if they want to change, and narcissists don’t know that they need to improve themselves because they think so highly of themselves already.
Narcissism is also not a mental disorder nor disease; there is no cure for it either.
Don’t expect them to change for you.
15. Commitment Expectations
Narcissists are awful at keeping promises. Although they feel entitled to all degrees of devotion, they seldom offer it themselves.
As a result, when they enter relationships, they fail to consider the needs of others. They’re solely focused on their own feelings, inclinations, and wants.
Many loving partners continue to maintain a wistful belief that their narcissist will change after a while.
They pay attention to how the narcissist speaks about them with adoration and appreciation.
They cling onto faint hopes that this time things will be different because they see the narcissist’s potential.
The narcissist, on the other hand, creates all the rules. They choose what they want to do and do it when they choose to do it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes a narc miserable?
Some of the top 4 things that make narcissists miserable are:
-not getting enough attention
-not feeling like they’re the most important person in the room
-being ignored or forgotten about
-having someone else easily replace them as a partner.
What makes a narc feel powerful?
Some of the top things that give narcissists power over others include:
-feeling like they’re the most important person in the room when surrounded by other people who admire them and feed their ego
-knowing that someone else is willing to do anything for them because of how much power they have over others’ emotions.
(the narcissist’s significant other will often sacrifice things such as friendships, hobbies, and their own self-care just to keep the narcissist happy)
What drives a narcissist insane?
Some of the top things that make a narcissist feel insane include:
-feeling like they’re being ignored or not getting enough attention.
-being in a relationship with someone who is no longer interested in them and has moved on to another partner already.
-having boundaries set by their significant other, which makes them feel less powerful.
-feeling like they’re not the center of their significant other’s world anymore (which is usually what most narcissists are aiming for).
What do you need to make a narc happy?
The top things that can help with making a Narcissist feel happier include:
-staying in contact with them often and checking in on them frequently
-sending lots of gifts and random acts of kindness to keep their ego feeling good about itself.
A combination of both can help with keeping the narcissist happy.
How do you shut up a narcissist?
Shutting up a narcissist is a matter of keeping them from getting what they want, the attention and adoration that they crave.
How do you break a narcissistic ego?
Breaking a narcissistic ego is simply about denying them the attention that they need.
How do you keep narcissists from talking incessantly?
By not giving them what they want, which is to talk without end and be praised for it.
If you’re in a one-on-one situation with someone who’s clearly fishing for compliments or trying to impress you, just give them one or two and then try to change the subject.
What do narcissists hate?
Narcissists hate being ignored above all else. They also can’t stand not getting attention for their actions.
Anyone who does anything that makes a narcissist look bad in front of others is going to be hated as well.
How do you deal with a narcissist?
Put simply, the way to handle a narcissistic person is by using their ego against them.
What do narcissists love?
Narcissists are all about adoration, praise, and attention. They also enjoy being in control of others’ lives.
They need to be the center of everything at all times, which is why they can’t handle not getting what they want when they want it.
Do narcissists know they are hurting you?
Narcissists are so self-involved that they simply don’t care about how their actions affect others.
They feed off of the attention that they get from manipulating people, which means if you cry or beg them to stop, it will only make things worse.
What can I do if someone is a narcissist?
The best thing you can do is keep them from getting what they want, which means making yourself less available and denying their requests.
If someone’s a narcissist, then chances are they’re not going to care about your feelings or how difficult things might be for you if it interferes with their own wants and needs.
What is the weakness of a narcissist?
Their weakness is that they care only about themselves, which makes it possible to deny them what they want.
They also can’t handle criticism of any kind, which means you have the power when they are in front of you.
How do you stop a narcissist from hurting you?
The easiest way to stop a narcissist from hurting you is by not giving them the attention that they crave.
If someone’s a narcissist, then chances are they’re going to continue being exactly who they have been since day one, which means their behavior isn’t likely to change anytime soon.
What can I do if someone is a narcissist?
The most important thing you can do if someone is a narcissist is to protect yourself and avoid letting them hurt you.
This means denying them what they want when the time comes, which will result in less of their abuse.
How do you stop a narcissist from talking?
The best way is to simply walk away and find something else to occupy your time, or listen without giving too much of a reaction.
If they keep getting the response that they want (attention), then they’ll keep talking and trying. If they see that you don’t care, then it will shut them down pretty quickly.
What do narcissists think of other people?
It really just depends on what kind of person the narcissist is dealing with in front of them. Narcissists are all about getting attention from everyone around them at all times.
If someone does something to make a narcissist look bad, they will be hated and attacked in some way or another. Narcissists also can’t stand anyone who doesn’t idolize them constantly for everything that they do.
Do narcissists cry?
Narcissists won’t shed any tears if they feel that something is going to affect their reputation or put them in a bad light.
If someone’s a narcissist, then chances are they’re not very emotionally connected to anyone around them, so crying would be out of the question for them.
Can a narcissist love you?
A narcissist can’t actually love anyone because they don’t care about how their actions affect others, which means that if you’re with someone who’s a narcissist, then chances are that everything is always about them.
If there was ever anything done for the benefit of another person in front of them, it would be extremely hard to get any credit for it.
What does a narcissist want?
A narcissist wants to be worshiped by anyone in front of them at all times, which means they need attention and praise constantly so that they can feel important while also making themselves look good in any way possible.
Do narcissists ghost you?
If someone’s a narcissist, then chances are they’re going to stop talking to you when it no longer gets them what they want.
Narcissists don’t like giving up the attention that they get from others in front of them, which means if their behavior isn’t working anymore (because you aren’t paying enough attention or validating them) then they’re going to leave you alone entirely until it’s time for them to come back and get what they want.
How can I tell if someone is a narcissist?
The easiest way would be just by paying attention to their behavior and how much of an effect everyone in front of them has on the conversation, or anything that’s going on in front of them.
Narcissists are all about getting attention, but if someone is constantly seeking it even when they don’t need to be, then chances are that they’re a narcissist and the behavior isn’t likely to change anytime soon.
Do you think I’m narcissistic?
It really just depends on your perspective and how much of an effect you have on other people in front of you.
If someone constantly seeks attention no matter what the cost, then chances are that they’re a narcissist, but it really just depends.
What should I avoid doing around a narcissist?
Avoid giving them any sort of attention or validation because if their behavior isn’t working anymore (because you aren’t giving them what they want) then chances are that they’ll leave or ignore you entirely.
Do narcissists know when someone is lying to them?
Narcissists only believe the things that benefit them in some way, which means if it doesn’t work out for their advantage, then there’s a good chance that they’ll ignore it entirely.
Narcissists can tell when someone’s lying, but if what the other person is saying doesn’t work to their advantage, then chances are that they won’t believe them at all.
Do narcissists forget you?
Narcissists won’t forget about anyone who doesn’t cater to their every need because that means they didn’t get the attention and validation from them in some way.
If someone’s a narcissist, then chances are they’re going to hold on to grudges for as long as possible until it does benefit them in some way or another.
What is silent treatment narcissist?
The silent treatment is when someone’s ignoring you just to get the attention that they want.
Narcissists do use the silent treatment as a way of getting what they want, which means if it isn’t working anymore then chances are that they’ll stop talking to you entirely until their behavior gets them what they want again.
How does a narcissist feel when you leave him?
A narcissist may feel empty or unimportant when you leave them if their behavior isn’t working to get the attention that they want.
Narcissists don’t know how to handle themselves without getting what they want in some way, which means once things stop being about them, then it’s likely for them to act irrationally and emotionally unstable until they can get what they want again.
Do narcissists have anxiety?
A lot of the time, someone who is a narcissist may also suffer from anxiety because their self-esteem isn’t good enough to handle themselves without getting validation in some way.
If you aren’t giving them the attention that they crave, then chances are that they’ll suffer from anxiety, which is when they constantly worry about their own self-esteem.