Ever had someone ghost on you? It stings, doesn’t it? You might feel angry, sad, or embarrassed.
But the thing is, they always come back!
No matter how mad you are at them for disappearing without a trace…they’ll be back.
So what’s really going on with these people who keep coming back to us despite our anger and hurt feelings?
Why do they keep coming back after hurting us so badly?
What can we do about it if they’re just looking for another chance to break our hearts all over again?
What is a Ghoster?
A ghoster is someone who has been dating you for a while, things are going well and then all of the sudden they just disappear. No calls. No texts. No emails. Nothing!
Whether it’s weeks or months later, they’ll reach out to you again as if nothing ever happened between you two. Maybe even with an apology that doesn’t really make sense.
5 common excuses that ghosters give for their behavior?
1. “I was really busy and didn’t have time to respond.”
2. “My ex came back into my life and I had to make a tough choice between you two.”
3. “I found out I got accepted somewhere else, so we can no longer see each other.”
4. “I got into a car accident and have been going through some things. I’ll explain later, but for now let’s just take it slow.”
5. #I was feeling depressed and needed some time for myself. I’m better now, though!”
What is it called when ghosters come back?
For some, it’s a relief when someone ghost them. But if you’re unfortunate enough to find yourself on the other end of an unsuccessful relationship and your Ex comes back into their life for just one last bite, then this must be truly terrifying!
The words “zombie” or even “ghoulishly” come to mind because at least zombies know how much harm they’ll cause–but those who ghost past deserve our compassion as well: They are victims too…or more accurately – suffering from emotional trauma themselves due precisely where these feelings stem from within ourselves (our own minds).
Why Ghosters Always Come Back: 14 Common Reasons
I hope your first impulse to a ghoster that returns is to GET LOST. But not all of us can simply shut people down the way ghosters do.
Many individuals are too nice, and feel they deserve an explanation, while others just want to find out what they’ll say.
Whether it’s for curiosity or because you want to know why your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend came back, here are the reasons why ghosters always return.
1. They’re bored with their lives.
This is the most popular. When a ghoster ghosts, it’s because they’re bored or have had enough of it. They are now bored with something else, therefore they reach out.
You’ll be able to tell this was the reason for their contact if they make little or no effort in connecting with you. They may simply say “hey” and see whether you respond.
2. They desire an ego boost.
Ghosters will never admit to this, but you’d be surprised how frequently it’s the case. The individual who ghosted you is sad, or they may have just been ghosted by someone else.
Even if they aren’t genuinely interested, they reach out to see if you’ll reply just because they’re lonely. Don’t give them the pleasure of knowing that you were thinking about them.
3. Narcissism runs deep in the world of ghosters.
Some ghosters are genuinely self-centered people who think the world revolves around them.
They knew exactly what they were doing when they ghosted you.
They know that it would annoy you, but they do it anyhow. As a result, when ghosts return, they don’t consider the possibility that you’ll ignore them.
They believe you’ve been thinking about them constantly, whether for a week or a year. If you don’t respond, they may try to contact you again.
4. They are oblivious to the world around them.
This is the most ignorant and juvenile of all the ghosters. They truly believe that they are not a decent person.
They believe it was acceptable to ignore you for weeks or months.
5. The ghoster saw your adorable Instagram photo.
Yep, this is a thing. If you still have an ex-partner following you on Instagram, they may reach out since they saw your fiery Instagram post. Instead of allowing you to live your best life away from them and their filthy ghosting history, they choose to contact you.
6. They’re damaged.
They want a rebound no matter how briefly they anticipate seeing you or interacting with you. When something goes wrong for a ghoster, he or she crawls back into the lives of those he or she has deceived.
7. The ghoster is intrigued.
It’s all about the head games when it comes to ghosting, whether the ghoster is aware of it or not. The ghoster wants to know where you are so he can check up on you.
He screwed you before, but now he’s wondering if you’re holding a grudge and whether you’d be interested in Netflix and chilling.
8. They’re a bunch of slackers.
A ghoster who returns is like a guy from the 1990s calling up all of his ex-girlfriends. He prefers to rekindle what you had before, rather than meet someone new and form a connection.
Who knows if his motives are good or not; he probably isn’t. But he sounds like a drain, no matter how you look at it.
9. They’re self-centered and cocky
The ghosting of a relationship is an unappreciated act that demonstrates someone who is self-centered, unconcerned, and, in general, immature.
But when the ghoster returns, it’s only to show you how they believe their sentiments are more significant than yours one last time.
10. Convenience
In general, ghosting is a form of convenience. The ghoster does not have to think about what to say or when to say it because they do not have to end things or even pause them. They simply do what is convenient for them. When ghosters return, they are lonely, intrigued, or bored; and reaching out to you is the most practical option for them.
11. They are genuinely sad that you are gone.
This is a one-of-a-kind occurrence. I don’t want you to get your hopes up or expect that just because they texted you “I miss you” after ignoring you for weeks that they actually meant it.
However, there are rare occasions when someone genuinely feels sorry for being an idiot and asks for your forgiveness.
But, this only happens if they actually say/type this out. They must accept responsibility for their actions. An apology is expected, or the risk isn’t worth it.
12. They want to make you jealous.
It’s a common tactic used by those who ghost and return, especially if they became interested in someone else after ignoring or ending things with you.
Reaching out would only drive the point home that he has moved on — just like he did with you when we were together! – so don’t give him the satisfaction of thinking his little plan worked. Just ignore him back and move forward as usual.
13. They want to tell you what happened.
A ghoster who returns is likely trying to give himself a self-esteem boost, and he does this by telling the story of how the new girl “treated him like dirt” or whatever else gives him an excuse for why things didn’t work out with her (because really, they never do).
Don’t get sucked into his lies; don’t believe them even if it’s true. He has no right to treat women poorly and expect their loyalty after doing so — never.
So there’s nothing worth listening about because he isn’t going to change anytime soon. Ignore him back and move on as usual!
14. He misses your friendship more than anything else.
A ghoster who returns has likely spent some time away from you. He may have moved on to someone else, but he realizes that the relationship was not what he wanted after all because it wasn’t with you.
You are or were his best friend and if this is true, then enjoy your friendship again! But don’t expect anything more.
What to do when ghosters comes back?
When a ghoster comes back, it can be confusing and difficult. They ghosted because they didn’t want to do the hard work of breaking up with you, but then decided that they miss you or are ready for a relationship after all.
This can be frustrating for many reasons – especially if your feelings were never reciprocated in the first place.
However, it is important to remember that at least there was mutual interest before they disappeared on you!
There wasn’t any bait-and-switch like some people experience when someone flirts heavily initially, only to find out later down the road they weren’t actually interested in them romantically (unfortunately).
At this point, most people naturally feel hurt by their initial disappearance/ghosting behavior.
This means that an ex coming back into your life will probably have a long road ahead of them before they can win you back.
It is important to remember that in order for these relationships to be healthy, both parties need to give 100% effort and commitment all the time – not just when it’s convenient or comfortable for them.
In other words, if an ex ghoster wants their relationship with you back, then they will have to prove themselves worthy over time!
Some people feel like this means giving up your power/control during this process – but really what it means is being self-aware enough about yourself and your needs.
It also gives the opportunity to have more clarity around whether or not this person is actually capable of meeting your needs, which will help you determine if they are worth fighting for.
Frequently Asked Questions About Ghosters
why ghosters always come back?
The ultimate reason why ghosters always come back has to do with the fact that they are cowards!
They don’t have enough courage or strength of character to properly break up with their partners in person.
Therefore, rather than taking responsibility for their actions, they would prefer to just disappear – hoping that the other person will eventually get tired enough of being ignored/hurt and do the dirty work themselves.
What should I do if my ghoster come back?
If an ex ghoster comes back into your life after disappearing on you once before, remember that you are in control.
Don’t let them pressure you into giving up your power/control or feeling guilty for not being there yet!
Remember, they have to prove themselves over time before you should even consider getting back together with them again!
Why did Ghosters return?
The main reasons why ghosters always come back is because they realized that what they had with you was the real thing after all.
Some people may have found out that their ex was dating or talking to other people while ignoring them, which angered them enough to finally return and take responsibility for their actions/inaction.
What to do if he comes back after ghosting?
If you are in a position where your ex ghoster returns, then remember that they have to prove themselves over time!
Don’t let them rush the process. Be patient and give it time before making any major decisions or letting yourself get too attached again!
How do you deal with Ghosters?
There is only one right answer to how you should deal with ghosters – and that is, don’t let them control your life!
If they are willing to put in the effort, then great. If not, then move on because there will be other people out there just waiting for you!
What do Ghosters feel?
Ghosters feel guilty, but they don’t want to actually apologize for their actions – because that would mean they have to take responsibility for them!
This is a major reason why ghosters always come back. They don’t want you to keep reminding them of what they did wrong and how it hurt you.
Is ghosting immature?
Yes, ghosting is immature – because it’s basically the same as someone ignoring you.
They are just kicking dirt on your face while walking away! It doesn’t show any respect for their partner or how much they care about them.
Will he ever come back?
The answer to this question depends entirely on whether or not your ex ghoster is willing to put in the effort.
If they are, then you should give them a second chance because everyone deserves one! If not, then move on with your life and don’t look back!
Why is ghosting cruel?
Ghosting is cruel because it’s basically the same as someone leaving you but refusing to admit that they are actually gone.
It leaves you feeling confused, lonely, and wondering what went wrong! It also forces them into a position of having no choice but to move on with their lives – even though all they really want is for things to work out!
How do I get over the ghoster?
The only way you can “get over” your ghoster is if you don’t let them control your life.
The more you keep thinking about the ghoster and what they did to hurt you, the longer it will take for the healing process to begin!
Remember that there is a huge difference between “getting over someone” and “moving on with your life.”
The former implies dwelling in past negativity while the latter implies progression.
Is ghosting a mental disorder?
Ghosting is not a mental disorder, but it’s definitely an emotional problem because they are basically ignoring you when you need them the most!
How do you tell if someone is ghosting you?
You can’t tell if someone is ghosting you – or that they are just busy with their own lives.
The only way to know for sure is by keeping in touch and seeing what happens over time! If the person disappears, then it’s pretty safe to say they aren’t interested anymore.
How do you respond to ghosting?
The best thing to do when you are being ghosted is definitely not respond!
Just let them know that whatever they have to say isn’t important enough for you, and move on with your life. If they can ignore you, then so can you – no matter how much it hurts!
What does a ghoster want?
Ghosters want you to stop reminding them of their mistakes and how much they hurt you because it’s embarrassing for them.
They also don’t care enough about your feelings or what happened between the two of you! If they did, then there is no way that they would have ignored everything like this.